I have this horrible fear of dying before you can remember who I am/was. Before you I would hear people on movies who had cancer lament, "My child will never know me!" and while I thought that was sad I didn't truly get how sad until now. I am not saying having a child makes you some guru on the meaning of life but when a child BECOMES your meaning of life, it puts things into a perspective you didn't know existed.
This will not make sense to you for a long time.
You are growing too fast, if you ask me. You bounce in your Jumperoo like you're going to jump through the roof. How do you not give yourself shaken baby syndrome? Somehow, you don't. You're still pretty small compared to other babies, but that's fine with me because it's less weight to have to put on my hip. Besides, you are so big in so many other ways. You have the best smile, the best laugh, the best attitude. You wake up every morning filled with this immeasurable joy that is so contagious, darling. It doesn't matter how tired I am, I can't help but smile and hold you so tight in your drool stained Gerber sleeper. I love you.
You eat all kinds of things now. You love to talk all day long. It's just babble really but I know YOU think you're speaking very plainly so I try to respond in kind. Your favorite food is sweet potatoes. Your favorite drink is still Similac. Your favorite person is a tie between Daddy and me. For play, Daddy wins. I win for snuggles. That's perfect as far as I am concerned.
You make me want to become the best person I can be because I think that's how you will become the best person YOU can be. And I see your future and I see so many wonderful things, sweet angel. You can truly do anything. You are small but you are MIGHTY. I will always be in your corner, pushing you as far as I know you can go.
But for now, stay close. Stay in your footie jammies and onesies. I know babies don't keep.